Teach Your Child Love – Not Obedience Through Fear

Contrary to many people’s beliefs ,  rigor does not guarantee success in parenting. Obedience is often created by shouting and strict rules, resulting in fear and insecurity in the child.

In fact, it is interesting how, within the framework of our language, we associate a “obedient and temperate child” with something that is desired and even expected in most families.

Sometimes, however, there is low self-esteem and unhappiness behind such a sober outer shell. In this case, the child has so many walls erected around him that he experiences life only as a prison.

In addition to this, the child’s mind becomes incapable of taking initiatives, as he always expects other people to tell him what he can or cannot do. A happy child is one who explores, plays, laughs and communicates. Fear and tight boundaries cut off the wings from a child’s growth and self-esteem.

So when you are thinking about what kind of parent you want your children to be, you should choose a model that allows your children to grow up whole. Choose a way that allows them to live in the world with respect, and that allows them to be happy and also give happiness.

Here are some simple guidelines to use in parenting – keep reading if you’re wondering how to make your kids happy!

Borders in parenting

Every mother or father wants a child who listens to their parents, wants to please them, and achieves the “standards” that are set for them. While this is something that is generally desired, it should not be forgotten that such behavior should be in harmony with other things.

Obedience and understanding the rules are things that should go hand in hand.  The child should understand what is expected of him or her at any given moment and why those rules are set by the parent.

“I do what my mom says because she wants the best for me. I put my toy in storage every night because my room needs to stay clean. I am quiet when others talk because I respect and listen to them. ”

Children should not obey the rules for fear or punishment. Behavioral psychology does not always work when it comes to education. If a child gets used to a cry or some other type of reproach every time he makes a mistake or acts inappropriately, he or she will be fearful and angry with you, his or her own parent.

In the following, we will explain the matter in a little more detail.

Fear as a justification in raising children makes you feel bad

Early childhood is the period that covers the period between the first month of a child and the age of seven. Everything that happens during this period is key to the child’s future development.

Every parent wants their child to obey him or her when the child is asked to do something, and this helps the child become part of the family dynamics, and it also keeps him or her safe.

However, children always want to go beyond the borders so they can prove things to themselves, as well as to you.

• If every time a child goes outside the boundaries, he or she receives a severe punishment, cry, or reproach in response, the child can react in two possible ways.
• His anger will grow, so he will challenge his parents more and more, or he may shut himself off.

• A child should not spend his early childhood in such a way that he experiences fear every day.
• Fear causes a child’s self-esteem to decline and causes unnecessary stress to the young and maturing brain.
• Education based on punishment causes the child to focus only on external recognition. The parent thus causes the child to develop into an insecure person who has no self-confidence at all.

Every child who finds the world through fear – set by his family – grows up unhappy.

“If the people who love me the most scare me, I have to defend myself in this world.”

Teach your child with love and respect

• Raising with respect means that your child is what is expected of him or her at every moment. At the same time, it means encouraging your child to be himself and to explore the world safely, while you are by his side.
• Teaching with love means that there is no need to shout, and that disagreements manifest through a relaxed and clear voice.
• If you want to teach your children obedience through love, you should also listen. Pay attention to your children’s thoughts, and then make suggestions, clarifications, and provide guidance based on them.
• Don’t try to make your children perfect. Your goal should be to raise happy children – those who know your family as well as the rules of society.

• In order to teach, you need to give your child a voice. If you focus on punishment and reproach and only show what the child is doing wrong, you are raising a person who cannot be sure of themselves.
• Instead of being too harsh when your child is behaving badly,  explain to him what he has done wrong and how he could do better.
• Remember that it is not good to set too many requirements. You don’t want to raise a child who is submissive and quiet.

Focus on your child’s natural abilities so he or she can feel confident when the time comes to pursue what makes him or her happy.

Learn to get a “connection” with your child instead of punishing him. If you understand your child’s needs, you can better help him or her grow day by day. Take advantage of the tips in this article on parenting – you’ll notice the positive effects!