Defend Yourself From Awkward Family Members

Relationships can be tricky for a family  when you can’t choose, but you have to be in constant contact with them. If you don’t want to be manipulated, let a  family member  know what you think of him or her. It is worth defending from awkward family members and setting clear boundaries.

There is one person in everyone’s family who always thinks only of himself, causes quarrel, manipulates and always disagrees with everything. This can make it difficult to interact and have a family party, as a family member will inevitably face different situations. How can we defend ourselves from awkward family members?

Awkward family members result in suffering for the whole family

If you have a relative (father, mother, spouse’s parents, sibling, aunt, cousin, grandparent) with whom you inevitably have to deal, but whose behavior spoils the situation rather than the situation, this can greatly affect the quality of life of other family members. Family relationships are complicated by the fact that they are not just about to be cut off. If any of your friends throw themselves awkward and nasty, you can put the friendship on the ice – the same won’t work for family members.

Within the family, there are complex and even difficult emotions, resentments, jealousy, old problems that raise their heads again and again. Family members can have very different attitudes and views, which can lead to disputes. Family relationships are not easy to break, but sometimes it is necessary for your own mental health. Sometimes someone within the family can be so controlling and malicious that it makes no sense to try to get along with them.

An example of this could be parents who are too lacking in their children’s lives and want their children to live exactly the kind of life the parents have planned for them. Parents can judge a child’s career choice as stupid or criticize his or her spouse. Such opinions hurt, but where does the limit go?

1. Know your own limits: decide what you accept and what you don’t

A good example of honesty and setting boundaries is the following scenario: your partner and you have been invited to dinner at your in-laws home. When you arrive, you will know that they have cooked a really fiery meal. You know that your taste buds can’t stand hot food and that your digestion will suffer from it. You don’t want to offend anyone, so you don’t say anything about it and suffer through the meal. Next time, the same thing will happen again and you will realize that the situation will continue until the very eternity, unless you tell them the truth. You open your mouth and get told that fiery food isn’t really right for you. The in-laws wonder, of course, why in the world you didn’t say it right the first time.

This simple example illustrates the importance of telling people what you tolerate and what you don’t (whether it’s a particular type of food or whatever), even though it may be difficult. It is always worthwhile to be honest with yourself and others. Think about where your boundaries are going. If your mom requires you to visit every day or every week, you can tell her it doesn’t fit your schedules. If your sister ruins you with boring events, refuse, don’t just get involved out of a sense of duty. It is easier for awkward family members to defend themselves when you know your own limits.

Tell people your thoughts and feelings without getting nervous. Talk to your loved ones with respect, as you hardly want to break the gap with your mother or sister completely. Let them understand that you have your own life and your own hurries, and you can’t always make room for their demands. This is not selfish, but honest.

2. Learn to be stubborn without being arrogant

We don’t want to knowingly offend anyone knowingly, so we leave certain things unsaid and swallow our resentment. You don’t have to be supportive of everyone all the time. If you spend a lot of time with your parents or grandparents, but they still just complain that no one ever goes to see them, this can hurt and feel unfair. If siblings complain that you don’t support them enough, you should stay firm and tell them you can’t always be present.

You have your own problems and worries and you can’t be on the shoulders of others all the time. Do not sacrifice yourself in front of others in the hope of maintaining family peace. Set aside time for the family, but make sure the initiative starts with both of you and that the time together is rewarding for all of you. Let your family members understand that you deserve respect.

3. Support your family, but also remember your own needs

Family is important to everyone. While the presence of family members in their lives is missed, smooth and comfortable communication with certain members can be a complete impossibility. Indeed, some family members become a destructive force in our lives. Some have to break up with their parents because of violence or other problems. You can’t always get along with family members, and you don’t need to.

If someone causes fear anxiety and resentment or has mistreated you, you have the right to remove them from your life. This can be a difficult and sad process, but in the end, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. You have a right to happiness, and you don’t have to listen to constant tuning and joking, or act as an eternal shoulder to someone else. If someone in your family is constantly hurting you, tell them directly and if things don’t change, it’s worth putting the relationship on the ice.